Headmaster's Blog

Cotton Wool

Posted by on 21 November 2011 | 1 Comments

Yes we all love our children and of course we want only the best for them. One of the sacrifices we have made is to spend thousands of hard earned pounds on their education, sending them to a school where they will get the best care, academic teaching and social and physical development in an environment of motivation and high expectations. In fact our concern for 'the best' for our children started well before schooling. But can we care too much? Can our ever increasing demands for excellence and well being surpass what is good and healthy?

There has been a noticeable change across the nation in parental attitude towards children that has grown over the last decade. No longer are children allowed to make mistakes, be involved in accidents, fail or not succeed in any way nor take risks, be disappointed or feel proud to congratulate winners that aren’t them. It’s a condition of children that is a direct result of the attitudes of their parents. I am worried that we are rearing a generation of children who will never be satisfied and will be greatly envious of others. A generation of children who will never feel achievement because somebody else will do it better than them and who will feel that life is unfair and that nobody believes in them. The practice of ‘wrapping our children up in cotton wool’ as the saying goes, is a process that stifles growth and life experiences that are essential to develop sturdy, resilient and confident members of society. There are huge swathes of parents who want their children to be the best, number one and supreme, whilst trying to protect them from any discomfort such as falling out with friends, harsh words, rough play, being chastised for poor behaviour, not being picked for the football team, being last in the queue, not liking the dinner provided, being told to change their habits or cut their hair….and so on.

How are our children to develop techniques to cope out in the real world? How will they grow into tough, confident individuals being able to take on those around them and plough successful furrows in business and life unless they are exposed to difficulties and problems and taught how to cope with them? Part of school life is dealing with social difficulties and disappointments. Although it is right and proper to prevent and address bullying, inappropriate behaviour and any child feeling unhappy, there are many times when it is equally correct to help a child deal with a situation rather than ‘solve’ it for them.

An essential part of coming to school is the education of sociability, learning to cope with life and all the problems and difficulties it throws at us. Learning to make friends, break friends and work with people we don’t necessarily enjoy being with. It is about learning to be second as well as first, losing and facing disappointment, watching others achieve higher than you and accepting that you are not always going to be the centre of attention. The more we can get all parents to see the value of ‘failure’ the more we will teach our children to face reality and build skills to allow them to learn from mistakes and experience. In turn, they will develop more resilience, become stronger and ultimately more successful and happy in life. - RY.

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Another parent mentioned this blog to me so I decided to read it. Everything written is so true. Sometimes people (and I include myself in this!), need to focus on what is real and important in life like being healthy, being kind to others and generous with our time and remembering that we all can't be good at everything but as long as we have done our best that is all that matters!

Posted by Catherine Parr, 25/11/2011 11:12am (6 months ago)

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